I’m actually feeling it this year. That magic feeling of the holiday season.. and I can’t believe it!
I’m usually the “bah humbug” type. Upset over the commerciality of the whole thing. Feeling pressured into buying gifts, not because I want to, but because I feel guilty if I don’t.
Last year we didn’t even bother setting up the tree (mainly due to lack of space, and the stress of a cat who spent the previous year diving head first into it.) I did manage to send out cards though, but once again because I felt it was my duty as they started to arrive in the mail.
I never thought I would actually be in to it again. My disdain for Christmas is learnt behavior. I come from a family where Christmas always seemed like a burden. Just another time to worry and fight about money. I remember a year in my early teens when my parents said to me and my brother “you don’t need any more junk.” We agreed half heartedly, assuming it was just talk. However, we didn’t know that they were actually taking our agreement seriously. We woke up Christmas morning to find absolutely nothing under the tree. I tried not to look upset, but it broke my heart and stole what little Christmas spirit I had.
My husband hates that I’m not into Christmas. He comes from a big family with lots of cousins. In their family the focus is on the happiness that comes with getting a chance to see each other, eat great food and appreciate one another through gift giving. But even seeing their approach to Christmastime didn’t convert my negative attitude.
This year is so different. It’s December 1st, and I’ve already made my Christmas card. I’m excited and want to put up lights on our house! I can’t wait to see my family and friends. I think it has a lot to do with Kieran. I know he doesn’t have any idea what’s going on yet, but he’s awoken the Christmas Spirit in me. I feel like the Grinch when his shriveled heart starts beating again.
Bah humbug to bah humbug!










